Does your cat not seem to get along with your spouse? Don’t worry. In this article, I explain the possible reasons why there might be tension between your cat and your spouse, and I explain simple ways to resolve these issues between the husband and the cat. Trust me, you won’t have to choose one from the two. Relax, and read on until the end!
Picture this –
You come back after a long, tiring day at work and are greeted by the calming and heart warming purring of your cat. On the contrary, your husband returns from a tiring, long day at work, only to be greeted with hisses and growls and ignorance; and in the worst case, some scratches too!
Oof! That does not sound pleasant at all. But for most newly wedded cat owners, this is the reality. Is this the case with you and your partner too? Don’t worry. It is pretty common, and can be resolved with a little patience and smartness.
Cats tend to hiss, growl or generally disprove of any new human being or animal, not just your spouse in particular. This has a lot to do with their territorial nature and love of routines.
Some rare moments might be of jealousy, but cats don’t often get jealous about their owner getting affectionate with anyone else, unlike dogs.
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Here Are 5 Reasons And Helpful Ways To Resolve these tensions!
1. Your cat may be facing confusion and fear!
Cats are not pack animals. They tend to thrive better in isolation. This is a part of their evolutionary package of instincts.
While they have been domesticated by a substantial amount, thanks to these prevalent instincts, it still is difficult for cats to be accommodating for new creatures in their physical vicinity – be it their counterpart furry animals, or human beings.
2. Cats love routines!
Cats are micromanagers who absolutely love routines and are absolutely dreaded by the idea of disruptions in their patterns.
While this may seem ironic with their own instincts of changing their own patterns regularly, thanks to their predatory instincts; it isn’t abnormal or unusual for a cat to get agitated when any disruption occurs due to external factors in their routines.
These external factors could be as big as a change of house if you move in with your spouse; or, on the other hand, it could be something seemingly insignificant for you, like the new scents that your spouse brings with them in your house.
3. Cats are territorial!
Cats are very, very territorial animals. So much so, that it can lead to fights between your cat and the neighbourhood cats. When your spouse moves into your house, which by the way is your cat’s territory, your cat sees it as another creature encroaching upon their territory.
This possessiveness and over protective behaviour can often lead to your cat trying to make this “weird, hairless, giant cat” that your spouse is for him or her, to go away from the territory. And to do this, they might hiss, growl or even scratch your spouse.
4. Scent familiarization and patience is the key!
Now, it is understandable that this tension between the two living creatures you love the most, frustrates you. But in any case, the foundation to making this tension subside is patience.
Do not forcefully put your cat on the lap of your spouse 0- it will lead to potential scratch and attack risks. And it’ll be on you.
Cats are not very social. They need their personal space and time to acclimatize with these changes. One thing that you could do is to help your cat familiarize with the new scents. A good start could be to make your spouse carry the scents of your cat.
A simple way to do this is to take a clean sock, rub it gently on the cheek of your furry feline baby, and then let your spouse use it. Repeat this with all other pairs of socks and other small clothing pieces like handkerchiefs.
This helps because around the facial area, cats carry what are the “friendly” hormones. You must have seen your cat gently rub its cheek on the corners and edges of walls and furniture too if you observe closely enough. They do this to mark their territory with their pheromones. Pretty smart for a little kitty, huh?
5. Let your cat’s food come from Chef Spouse’s kitchen!
Food is an amazing icebreaker 0- be it with cats, dogs or fellow human counterparts. For a few days, let your spouse be the one that prepares the cat’s food and feeds him or her.
This will not only provide a compulsory non-hostile contact between your cat and your spouse multiple times a day, it will also make your cat realize that your spouse is not a threat.
After all, at the end of it all, that’s what matters the most; that your cat realizes that this “weird, hairless, giant cat” that your spouse seems to him or her is not a threat.
Once this misunderstanding is cleared from your cat’s head, there really shouldn’t be much problem getting the two of your loves of life get along well together!
Frequently Asked Questions
Why does my female cat hate my husband?
Your Cat Isn’t Jealous
This may come as a shock to you but your cat isn’t reacting this way because she’s upset at the fact that you’re spending more time with someone else. It’s actually confusion and fear that have her being less than hospitable to your spouse. … The cat parent almost forces the two together.
Why does my cat prefer my husband?
Cats are more independent, so their feelings of attachment to a particular person are likely based on more than just who is feeding them or scratching their ears occasionally. Consider the cat’s personal space, and think about whether your boyfriend (or whoever your cat prefers) is letting the cat stay in control.
What smells or scents do cats hate the most?
Surprising smells cats hate
Citrus: orange, lemon, lime, and grapefruit. Citrus smells are widely reported as being repugnant to cats.
Lavender, geranium, and eucalyptus.
Rosemary, thyme, and rue.
Banana and mustard.
Pepper, curry, and cinnamon.
Mint, wintergreen, and menthol.
Pine and cedar.
Dirty litter box.
Do cats get jealous of other cats?
Just like some people, cats can become jealous when they feel they’re being excluded or their environment has changed drastically or suddenly. … A lack of personal space, beds, or other belongings can also encourage jealous behaviour if a cat feels threatened by another pet.
Why does my female cat hiss at my husband?
Feeling Threatened by or Fearful of People
“Hissing is not necessarily an indication that your cat is aggressive, but it is a sign that your cat may attack if he continues to be provoked.” If you notice your cat hissing when you or your family members attempt to handle him, he likely feels threatened in some way.
Why is my cat scared of my partner?
Cats can be skittish, or afraid of a person because they resemble someone who hurt them in the past. If it’s more than one cat who’s afraid of him, though, he might have mistreated them. Cats can be skittish, or afraid of a person because they resemble someone who hurt them in the past.
Why is my cat scared of me all of a sudden?
Most probably, your cat’s sudden nervousness and jitters are caused by a routine that has changed in some way. Your feline’s sense of arrangement and sanctuary gets put in havoc with the introduction of new people, new pets, or changes in the environment. It may also be a sign of sickness or pain.
Do cats pick a favourite person?
Why cats choose a favourite person
The reason a cat will gravitate toward one person, in particular, may come down to communication. Though cats are often portrayed as aloof and independent, they are quite the communicators, and they have a special appreciation for people who can understand their needs.
Why does my cat wake me up but not my husband?
In most cases, cats seek comfort, calmness, and safety when selecting a sleeping spot. If, for example, your husband fidgets in their sleep and is likely to toss and turn several times during the night then your cat will feel uncomfortable and potentially unsafe sleeping close to them.
How do I get my cat to accept another cat?
Introduce them by sight.
Stack two baby gates on top of each other in the doorway to the new cat’s room, to ensure neither cat can get to the other.
Let your old cat discover the new cat in the room on its own.
If they both have non-aggressive reactions, praise them and give them a treat. …
Keep the gates up for a while.
Why does my cat hate my boyfriend?
Smell. While you may love your boyfriend’s cologne, your cat may hate it. It’s like a new smell that your cuddly cat hasn’t familiarized himself with. So, when your smelly new stranger starts hanging around, your cat may not be a fan until they become used to the new scent.
Final Words
While it may be a little too frustrating for you to see your two beloved creatures not get along well, there really isn’t much reason to be worried.
With patience and some routine changes and adjustments, you will be able to resolve all these issues!
Just moved in with my fiancé. My 15 yr old, indoor cat has started the behaviors you talked about. Hissing, growling, biting and swatting at my fiancé. We have tried the techniques you talked about but nothing is working. Randy will give him treats and the cat will turn around and try to attack him when he’s done eating them! It’s a tiny house with not much space for separating the cat. He has never acted this way ever. I don’t know what to do.
Hello Kim,
Just give your cat some time. Keep trying to bond with him. Some cats are less social and takes time to gel with new person but persistant efforts always pays off.
Hope your cat will gel well with your fiancé soon.
Happy cat parenting.
My partner comes to my place on the weekends and my cat is very unfriendly towards him.
It is quite a spacious apartment and my cat is allowed outside during the day however when she is around him she is aggressive.
The odd thing is that she will approach him and swipe at him out of nowhere, one time puncturing his lip and even one time his EYE BALL.
She even gets hostile towards ME when he is around, but is normal when he is gone. She also refuses to let me clip her nails, so they are very sharp making it worse. I have tried everything and come to the conclusion that she does not like being restrained or held.
He feeds her when he is here and plays with her sometimes but she is always aggressive and hisses after about 5 minutes of this.
It’s getting very difficult for us and the cat and I don’t know how to stop what is happening. It puts all of us on edge.
Please help!
If they feel excluded from the surroundings they are in, cats can become incredibly envious.
Some cats are territorial and don’t like it when their owners get attention from other people.
Consult a veterinarian if this behavior is very harmful.
We have 2 beautiful cats, one is 2 years old and the other one is 1 year old, the issue is this the younger one just recently keeps hissing at my husband and my husband feel so bad about it because he is the one giving them food all the time but when he got back from work our cat hissing at him. We are confused as far as we could remember my husband didn’t do anything bad to him, He wasn’t like that before we don’t know what to do. Thank you!
Your cat loves you more than your husband, so it doesn’t hiss at you but your husband. Even though he provides food to your cats, they are just not very well sociable.